I debated whether or not to post entry, I felt sharing my story of starting my business might be a bit to personal. I also believed my story did not have enough strife to make it interesting and I felt too inexperienced to discuss starting a business. After much thought, I realized publishing my story wasn’t about being interesting or an expert. It was about seeing beyond my acute fear that what I had to say wasn’t good enough or important enough to make a difference. This fear is my adversary and I work to overcome it every day.
Two years ago I had an idea: create a line of edgy Christian greeting cards that would give people a new way of seeing and sharing their faith; cards whose funky, modern designs would attract the attention of many who have regarded Christianity (or at least its social expression) with suspicion; cards that would be a ministry of healing and connection. Sure, this big idea was mine, however I had no clue where it came from. I was a trained designer, but incapable of doing anything more than showing up and completing mindless tasks; too fearful and insecure to ask for more satisfying and challenging work. The idea scared me so much I tried to shut down any dreams of its success. Despite my efforts, I couldn’t make the idea go away and I couldn’t ignore it. Looking for guidance, I met with my pastor. Fearful of his opinions I spoke with uncertainty, laughing at the idea and myself. He looked at me and asked, “Why are you doing this when its obvious you don’t want to?” I was taken aback, unprepared for a question like that. Eventually the words came: “I’m tired of being afraid. God willing, I will regain my passion for design, find confidence in my abilities and become excellent at what I do. I will be able to shoulder the responsibility of entrepreneurship and lose my fear of failure.” I was shocked to hear my answer. Those powerful words didn’t seem to come from me, but I somehow knew they were true. This marked a significant shift in my self-perception. Although I didn’t believe I could achieve any of this on my own, the concept that God would help me began to form. This is when things started to change.
The idea has since come alive. Aptly named GimmeGrace, we are on the verge of big things. Already our cards inspire and encourage people from all walks of life. Personally I’m not perfect, but I am passionate, often fearless and good at what I do. I walk in confidence, gratitude and joy and feel most alive helping others do the same.
Advice for October: Do something you are afraid of every day. This may sound trite, but making a habit of regularly facing fear gradually loosens the grip it has on us. Once one looks back on a time of intentional fear facing, the idea that life may not be so terrifying often begins to form. This makes bigger challenges less intimidating and allows for increased confidence and clarity. Personally, practicing courage hasn’t solved every problem, but it has turned many insurmountable anxieties into bumps in the road.
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